Conviction, Direction & Obedience

Obedience. It's a funny word. That word that we, as kids, often wish wasn't in our parents' vocabulary. "Obey your mom - clean your room." How many times have we heard that? Too many to count. But, as we get older, we begin to hear of obedience in a different light. Lately, I've been hearing it quite differently indeed.

These past two weeks, I've been in Salmon Arm, British Columbia. That's right, in Canada. And I instantly fell in love. The scenery is amazing. Rolling hills turning into mountains, beautiful blue Lake Shuswap, beaches...it's gorgeous. And even more gorgeous are the people's hearts. They love, they laugh, they live with an abandon that knows no bounds.

Since I came to Canada last March on a mission trip, I've felt like God was calling me to mission in Canada but I didn't do more than give it a passing thought. Yes, it would be nice to live in Canada and yes I feel a desire to bring knowledge of Jesus to these people but my dream is to be a high school history teacher. That's my major. I want to own a horse farm and get married, write books and teach kids to love the stories of the past. Maybe Canada will have to be only in short-term mission plans. That way, I'll still be following God's will and my dreams as well. God wouldn't really want me to start a camp in Canada, would He?

So I came back this summer, to BC this time, praying a lot that God would show me His will for me clearly through this summer. Last week, we went to convention in Calgary. The first night, the speaker gave a message about dying to your own dreams and following God's plan for your life. Thank you, God, for hitting me over the head. Die to my dreams? Ok. I'll give it some thought.

I'd already fallen in love with Salmon Arm but starting a camp in Canada (which is what I felt - feel - God calling me to do)? Do you know how much that would cost, God? How much I'd have to give up to do it? My dream, that's what. I've wanted to be a teacher for a really long time. So okay, I'll think about this plan of yours, God, but I'm making no promises.

Well, everyone knows what happens when you test God. He proves Himself to be right, haha. Sunday we were back in BC at Mountainview Baptist Church. Pastor Benje Bartley preached an amazing sermon about...yep. You guessed it. Obedience to God. Thanks, Benje. He preached on how we need to obey God, no matter the cost.

My dream is just that - my dream. I had to make a choice. Obey God and follow Him, even if I have no clue how I'm going to do that? Or follow my own dream and hope that God's satisfied with what I decide to give him? So I made the choice. I will follow God's plan. I'm still open to what He's doing and will do with my life but I know that it will involve a Christian camp for kids somewhere near Salmon Arm. Here is home. Here is where I will reach Canadians for Christ.

Conference Woes

Went to a writer's conference this weekend and left all depressed-like. It was amazing, do not get me wrong, those of you shaking your heads at me and wondering if I'm on crack. The thing just depressed the snot out of me. Let me explain.

I learned a gazillion and one things. Like literally, a gazillion and one. How to change my middle from muddle to magnificent, how to creep out (and not creep out) an editor, how to make my characters set apart, etc. And it depressed me. Cause now I have so much work to do on my novel! Argh! My friend Beth and I spent Friday night on the way to my aunt's house reworking my novel. Which was great but now I've got a bunch of work to do. Oh well.

Another way the conference depressed me was that I went to this workshop class on your first page, led by an agent who read the first pages and commented on what was good/bad and whether or not she would want to read more. She must have read at least 15 first pages and all of them were good - in her opinion - and she would choose to read more! So if all those good first pages are out there, what makes mine any better? Why should I be the one who gets published? That depressed me to no end - even though I thought some of the first pages were kinda crappy. Anyway.

The conference did have some highlights - I met two wonderful women who were hilarious - Amy and Erin. They were super funny and it was a joy to meet them, even though the conference didn't give us much time for socializing. It was also nice to see that Beth and I weren't the only ones who skipped the morning Keynote and devotion...

So yes, now I see the sheer amount of work ahead of me but I also got some good feedback on my novel and I think I might have finally found my niche. Maybe. So now it's time to put the pedal to the metal, the fingers to the keyboard (insert more cliches here) and fix my novel!

Geez, I love conferences...