Editing Nightmares

Wow. They really shouldn't tell me the last time I posted a post on here. 'Cause that makes me all depressed to see it was last year! Wow. Clearly, blog posting is not my forte. But today, I am here to make a point and I am going to slam it home HARD.

I cannot stand to edit. To go back through a manuscript and change sentences, add words, eliminate entire paragraphs. Do you know why? Well, I will tell you. It makes me feel like a terrible writer. I can't tell you the number of times I scratch my head (metaphorically) and say, "Gee. Why did I ever think that was a good idea? How could I have ever thought it'd be great to make her do that?"

And then there are the times my characters run away from me. I'm writing and editing and writing and editing and then all of a sudden, my main character is leaving work and she NEVER EVEN HAD A JOB!! And this is like chapter fifteen. So now I have to edit from the top again and make it clear she had a job all along and didn't just randomly pick one up one day because she felt like it. The whole time this is happening, I am sitting in my dorm room, staring at my computer, and yelling "Why would you do that? Stop doing that! Get back under my control!" That might be why people wonder if I'm nuts. To which I say - yes. I am nuts. I am a writer. How can I be anything but?

Back to editing. I've just now finished editing my YA chick lit novel, Oh Boyfriend, Where Art Thou? for maybe the third time. By editing, I mean going chapter-by-chapter, with Track Changes on, and skewering entire passages with the wrath of Michelle. It was intense. I just finished and the final (revised) product is about 15 pages longer than the original.

Editing stinks. It's hard work and hassle and can be really, truly irritating. Only now, when I look at this final product (that still needs some work to explain why the main character randomly begins doing things mid-book that she hadn't done before) do I realize that editing really has made my book much, much better.

Now I think I'll go edit a fourth time...oh, joy.

Conference Woes

Went to a writer's conference this weekend and left all depressed-like. It was amazing, do not get me wrong, those of you shaking your heads at me and wondering if I'm on crack. The thing just depressed the snot out of me. Let me explain.

I learned a gazillion and one things. Like literally, a gazillion and one. How to change my middle from muddle to magnificent, how to creep out (and not creep out) an editor, how to make my characters set apart, etc. And it depressed me. Cause now I have so much work to do on my novel! Argh! My friend Beth and I spent Friday night on the way to my aunt's house reworking my novel. Which was great but now I've got a bunch of work to do. Oh well.

Another way the conference depressed me was that I went to this workshop class on your first page, led by an agent who read the first pages and commented on what was good/bad and whether or not she would want to read more. She must have read at least 15 first pages and all of them were good - in her opinion - and she would choose to read more! So if all those good first pages are out there, what makes mine any better? Why should I be the one who gets published? That depressed me to no end - even though I thought some of the first pages were kinda crappy. Anyway.

The conference did have some highlights - I met two wonderful women who were hilarious - Amy and Erin. They were super funny and it was a joy to meet them, even though the conference didn't give us much time for socializing. It was also nice to see that Beth and I weren't the only ones who skipped the morning Keynote and devotion...

So yes, now I see the sheer amount of work ahead of me but I also got some good feedback on my novel and I think I might have finally found my niche. Maybe. So now it's time to put the pedal to the metal, the fingers to the keyboard (insert more cliches here) and fix my novel!

Geez, I love conferences...

Patience...Hard stuff!

Man, they tell you all the time that "patience is a virtue." Well, thank you, Mr. Perfect, I know that. But did anyone really say that impatience was a vice? My patience has been put to the test lately - basically through my own doing and so I decided to blog on patience for all of you peoples out there who are as impatient as me or at least a little impatient.

Recently, I went to a writer's conference and met probably the nicest agent I've ever met. She was friendly, VERY nice during my pitch session (which was good because I was super duper nervous) and wrote me a really sweet card because I helped her out with making some copies. I mean, talk about a really good experience!

Trouble is, she asked for a proposal. Now I know all you people out there (and my writer group people) are all like 'that's fantastic, at least she wanted to see it!' and, yes, that's how I was at first as well. All, woo-hoo, bring it on, she wants a proposal, happy dance around the dorm room. Yeah. I happy danced. A lot. Called my mom, told my writer's group, told facebook, twitter, etc.

But now comes the patience part I talked about earlier. This particular agent was nice enough to send me an email saying she'd got my proposal and she'd hope to get back to me within six weeks. Uh-oh. Start the patience meter, my gut's saying it's gonna run out in about 6 DAYS. And it kinda did. I'll find myself thinking about my proposal at the oddest times, wondering if she's looked at it yet, trying not to get the hopes up, realizing that's impossible and even daydreaming different scenarios. Yep. I'm a nutter.

Then, I started thinking about it. This agent is more than likely super busy. She probably gets like a zillion proposals a day. Plus, she does consulting work as well so that takes time. Six weeks is probably a SUPER short time compared to other agents. It's just my fault that I'm impatient naturally.

So I've come up with some ways to get my mind off my proposal and figured I'd share them with you in case you were curious about how you can spend your time - other than crossing off dates on the calendar, working down to the six-week mark (yeah, I did that...)

1. Do something else. *Light bulb moment!* If you're waiting to hear on a proposal, don't just stop writing. Me, I'm working on my sequel so I'll have something to back up my novel once I do get it published or contracted. An agent/editor doesn't want a one-book wonder. They want someone who has more in the wings. So write.
2. Try not to think about the proposal. Now, that is harder said than done. Number one, don't get your hopes up. Don't decide the agent/editor is going to say no but don't decide your proposal is so awesome, they'll put you on Regis & Kelly tomorrow. Just don't think about it.
3. This one is most important. Pray about it. If it's God's will, it'll happen. I've been trying to do God's will for my life, not only in this but in all things. So I'm just praying that if God wants my story out in the world, He'll get it there in His own time. Each morning I pray that His will would be done with my proposal. It's still hard to wait but I can do it. And if I can do it...so can you!!

Patience is hard. But it's not impossible!

Thoughts to Chew On

This summer, I worked at a camp. It was awesome but there was a girl there who was a really good counselor. She started out the summer with her twin sister also working at the camp. Her twin sister didn't feel like it was the right place for her to be and so she left. Our camp director put it this way: if sister A hadn't come to camp neither would have Sister B. Sister A may have left but perhaps her reason for being at the camp was so that her sister would be there.

Maybe the same thing applies to my book. Maybe Dominic's story isn't all that important at all. What if his story merely served to plant the seed for Nic's story? So maybe I should just continue on with Nic's story and forget all the parts that made it a continuation of Dominic's story. Not the President's son, no Secret Service, no horses. No Kade. Not in the future. No babies.

Is that the real reason behind Dominic's story? Did he serve just to provide ammunition for Nic's? Was that all Dominic was? Just a prop to get to the real meat?

What do you think?

Let's get it started in here...

Today I attempt something new. Something I've not done before but something I am super excited about trying! Are you ready for it? You are? Sure? Ok, here goes nothin'.

I'm going to spend ALL DAY writing. Well, I'm going to the Miss NGU pageant tonight at 7 so maybe not all day but from now till about 5:30 or 6, I'm gonna be a-writin'.

I got the following all set out and ready to help me achieve greatness:

1) Ipod
2) Water
3) An easily accessible food drawer
4) Comfy clothes
5) Fleece blanket in case I get cold
6) Tylenol just in case
7) Idiot's Guide to Writing Christian Ficiton
8) Computer
9) A Voyager episode for breaks
10) A Star Wars book for breaks
11) My man journal for inspiration

And I am ready to go! So let the party begin! I'll keep you updated!

Michelle

Depression 411

I figure I'm about an expert in this. Depression, bitterness, chucking all things pertinent at the farthest wall and hoping they hit with a bang - after all, my hopes and dreams have just crashed and burned.

Today, in my Fiction Writing class, we had a guest speaker - a published author - come and speak to us. My desire is to be published. Like, no lie, I want to go into a bookstore and see my book on the "Featured Author" table. I wanna do book signings and get movie deals and become a household name. But, for now, I'd settle for just getting published. I know I don't have the next Animorphs or Harry Potter. I'm not deluded. I think my book is good, I think it has potential. But the problem is that I don't know if it has ENOUGH.

We were told today that 1 in 10,000 people get published. That's a LOT of people. Who am I to think that I can be that one? Who am I to think I am good enough? But then I got to thinking.

Let's figure that half of those 10,000 are terrible writers. This is assuming that perhaps I am slightly above average.

That leaves 5,000. Out of that five grand, let's assume that half are average writers.

That leaves 2,500. Out of that twenty-five hundred, let's assume that half will give up before finishing a manuscript.

That leaves 1,250. Out of that twelve hundred and fifty, let's assume that half will give up after the first rejection. I'm being optimistic here.

That leaves 625 who will persevere.

Now the odds are 1 out of 625 that I could get published. Why?

Because I will not give up. My novel is above average. I've completed the manuscript and am well into the sequel. I've been rejected - I'm still going.

I will be that one. I will be the one who perseveres. I will be the one who gets to see her dream come through.

How about you?