Conviction, Direction & Obedience

Obedience. It's a funny word. That word that we, as kids, often wish wasn't in our parents' vocabulary. "Obey your mom - clean your room." How many times have we heard that? Too many to count. But, as we get older, we begin to hear of obedience in a different light. Lately, I've been hearing it quite differently indeed.

These past two weeks, I've been in Salmon Arm, British Columbia. That's right, in Canada. And I instantly fell in love. The scenery is amazing. Rolling hills turning into mountains, beautiful blue Lake Shuswap, beaches...it's gorgeous. And even more gorgeous are the people's hearts. They love, they laugh, they live with an abandon that knows no bounds.

Since I came to Canada last March on a mission trip, I've felt like God was calling me to mission in Canada but I didn't do more than give it a passing thought. Yes, it would be nice to live in Canada and yes I feel a desire to bring knowledge of Jesus to these people but my dream is to be a high school history teacher. That's my major. I want to own a horse farm and get married, write books and teach kids to love the stories of the past. Maybe Canada will have to be only in short-term mission plans. That way, I'll still be following God's will and my dreams as well. God wouldn't really want me to start a camp in Canada, would He?

So I came back this summer, to BC this time, praying a lot that God would show me His will for me clearly through this summer. Last week, we went to convention in Calgary. The first night, the speaker gave a message about dying to your own dreams and following God's plan for your life. Thank you, God, for hitting me over the head. Die to my dreams? Ok. I'll give it some thought.

I'd already fallen in love with Salmon Arm but starting a camp in Canada (which is what I felt - feel - God calling me to do)? Do you know how much that would cost, God? How much I'd have to give up to do it? My dream, that's what. I've wanted to be a teacher for a really long time. So okay, I'll think about this plan of yours, God, but I'm making no promises.

Well, everyone knows what happens when you test God. He proves Himself to be right, haha. Sunday we were back in BC at Mountainview Baptist Church. Pastor Benje Bartley preached an amazing sermon about...yep. You guessed it. Obedience to God. Thanks, Benje. He preached on how we need to obey God, no matter the cost.

My dream is just that - my dream. I had to make a choice. Obey God and follow Him, even if I have no clue how I'm going to do that? Or follow my own dream and hope that God's satisfied with what I decide to give him? So I made the choice. I will follow God's plan. I'm still open to what He's doing and will do with my life but I know that it will involve a Christian camp for kids somewhere near Salmon Arm. Here is home. Here is where I will reach Canadians for Christ.

Building Blocks.

Interesting blog title, eh? Building blocks. It can mean so many things. Wanna know where I got the title? From my hot chocolate mug that has the name of my preschool ministry on it: Building Blocks. But it applies here as well.

Building blocks and baby steps pretty much go hand in hand. You can't have the completed castle before you build it and you can't run before you walk. It's a common-known fact. Today's blog post will be short.

I'm ready to be published. Like, right now, I'd love to see my book on the Bestseller list and see it in the paper or whatever. I've wanted to be published for a long time. But now I'm learning to walk before I run.

Last time I pitched a novel - my military novel Willing to Die, my author bio was kind of crappy. I had little to no writing credits and so I was pretty much trying to run before I walked. Now, this time around, I'm walking first. My author bio looks pretty tight now with a good many writing credits. Biography in a nonfiction compilation, assistant editor of DevoKids, Honorable Mention in a national writing contest...I'm slowly padding my author biography and so I hope that that will help me to get published. Who knows?

The waiting for word back about my manuscripts is killing me but I'm surviving. Learning a lot about prayer and God's will and just waiting. Waiting stinks but I'm getting better at it!

Patience...Hard stuff!

Man, they tell you all the time that "patience is a virtue." Well, thank you, Mr. Perfect, I know that. But did anyone really say that impatience was a vice? My patience has been put to the test lately - basically through my own doing and so I decided to blog on patience for all of you peoples out there who are as impatient as me or at least a little impatient.

Recently, I went to a writer's conference and met probably the nicest agent I've ever met. She was friendly, VERY nice during my pitch session (which was good because I was super duper nervous) and wrote me a really sweet card because I helped her out with making some copies. I mean, talk about a really good experience!

Trouble is, she asked for a proposal. Now I know all you people out there (and my writer group people) are all like 'that's fantastic, at least she wanted to see it!' and, yes, that's how I was at first as well. All, woo-hoo, bring it on, she wants a proposal, happy dance around the dorm room. Yeah. I happy danced. A lot. Called my mom, told my writer's group, told facebook, twitter, etc.

But now comes the patience part I talked about earlier. This particular agent was nice enough to send me an email saying she'd got my proposal and she'd hope to get back to me within six weeks. Uh-oh. Start the patience meter, my gut's saying it's gonna run out in about 6 DAYS. And it kinda did. I'll find myself thinking about my proposal at the oddest times, wondering if she's looked at it yet, trying not to get the hopes up, realizing that's impossible and even daydreaming different scenarios. Yep. I'm a nutter.

Then, I started thinking about it. This agent is more than likely super busy. She probably gets like a zillion proposals a day. Plus, she does consulting work as well so that takes time. Six weeks is probably a SUPER short time compared to other agents. It's just my fault that I'm impatient naturally.

So I've come up with some ways to get my mind off my proposal and figured I'd share them with you in case you were curious about how you can spend your time - other than crossing off dates on the calendar, working down to the six-week mark (yeah, I did that...)

1. Do something else. *Light bulb moment!* If you're waiting to hear on a proposal, don't just stop writing. Me, I'm working on my sequel so I'll have something to back up my novel once I do get it published or contracted. An agent/editor doesn't want a one-book wonder. They want someone who has more in the wings. So write.
2. Try not to think about the proposal. Now, that is harder said than done. Number one, don't get your hopes up. Don't decide the agent/editor is going to say no but don't decide your proposal is so awesome, they'll put you on Regis & Kelly tomorrow. Just don't think about it.
3. This one is most important. Pray about it. If it's God's will, it'll happen. I've been trying to do God's will for my life, not only in this but in all things. So I'm just praying that if God wants my story out in the world, He'll get it there in His own time. Each morning I pray that His will would be done with my proposal. It's still hard to wait but I can do it. And if I can do it...so can you!!

Patience is hard. But it's not impossible!

Get it? Got it? Good!

This past weekend was Focus '10. It was a youth group retreat put on by Real Life Ministries, which is run by Camp Marietta's camp pastor, Jason Patterson. I was blessed enough to be able to be a college leader for the weekend. So today's blog post is going to be about the 20/20 session I was a part of for the weekend.

The 20/20 session was about Discovering God's Will. It was led by Matt on Saturday and Kari on Sunday with myself and Will Howard chiming in every now and then. I learned a lot from both Matt and Kari and a lot from Will that I am now going to share with you.

We talked about Jeremiah. Do you know how old Jeremiah was when he was called to ministry? He was 13. Yeah. In today's society, a thirteen-year-old would probably still be in middle school, watching Wizards of Waverly Place and eating peanut butter sandwiches. Not preaching against corrupt nations. But Jeremiah didn't complain, he didn't talk back. He went and he did as he was told.

How awesome is that? The fact that God can use you no matter your age, your status in life, all of that. He can use you! God is using you now; He's using me.

Will brought up a very interesting point in that God doesn't always speak audibly to you. He might use other people or experiences to shape you for the life he wants you to lead. He might use His Word to get your attention but, just because you don't ever hear His voice audibly in your head, that doesn't mean you shouldn't go.

Kari also pointed out that you have to be discerning in the people you listen to. Pretty much everything you want to do in your life can be mutated to be what "God wants me to do." I want to be a nurse so that must be what God wants me to be. Don't become so wrapped up in what you're wanting to do that you ignore what God wants you to do.

This was a really good 20/20 session and I really enjoyed learning from Will, Kari and Matt. They are all really smart and cool kids!

Hope maybe you learned something from this post!